February 2012
3 posts
Happy Birthday Song
Sleep Mode
The coffee machine at work went into sleep mode. The irony.
January 2012
2 posts
Stearin
Fact: Stearin has a melting point of 65°C.
Gravity
Bought dull sandwich
Found vegetable
Felt happy
Dropped it on the ground
December 2011
2 posts
Wroom Christmas Sale
Ho ho ho!
It’s Christmas time and we’re celebrating by having Wroom on sale through the entire holiday.
Wroom is a fun, colorful physics game for the iPhone. The perfect gift for you and your friends.
Have a Wroomy Christmas! http://www.wroomgame.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugK8-3HFwVE http://tinyurl.com/wroom-on-itunes
November 2011
1 post
No Conflict
At the bakery.
Saw a nice sandwich and pointed at it.
The baker grabbed a completely different one and asked “this one?”
I said “exactly.”
September 2011
8 posts
4 tags
Pigeon King
Saw a pigeon eat human barf this morning. Circle of life.
Chicken Race
Just witnessed a chicken race between two humans on bikes.
One brave or stupid man was storming towards an equally brave or stupid woman.
I’m not sure who won, because I’m pretty sure the very core of a chicken race is to avoid each other in the last minute.
Come to think of it - why are chickens considered to be cowards, or frontal crash avoiders?
Anyway, the brave man and the...
Information: Stolen Facebook Account
Situation
My Facebook account was taken over yesterday. I live in Germany at the moment, but a device called “123” logged in from the States and added all my friends to a group called “Football.Network”.
How it happened I’m not 100% sure how it happened, yet, but my strongest lead right now is that it happened when I used the media playback application Boxee. For...
Mind Your Step
Theoretically, children run higher risk of stepping in doggy doo.
Trust
Just saw an apartment ad.
A man and his girlfriend were looking to rent a room in a shared apartment. He claimed to be very calm and friendly, a jolly good lad if you will.
On his profile picture he was holding a machine gun. Just the kind of guy you want around your kids.
4 tags
Jonas Johansson - Push
no point crying over...
The Doorbell
I woke up with a shock this morning, but I didn’t know why. Then I remembered some weird dream I was having where our very small stairway-cleaning lady was ringing my doorbell over, and over again.
“Heh, annoying little cleaning lady,” I said to myself while walking towards the shower.
I passed by my door and took a look at the doorbe…RIIIIING! It went off! I almost...
Temperature
When I stopped snoring and decided to come back to life the other day, I noticed the sun was shining. Excellent news.
The temperature of the sun is 5,505°C (9,941°F). Now that’s hot. But what about Earth?
It’s 9 in the morning and the Internet told me it was already 29°C (84°F). Usually it’s so cold in the morning I have to wear a jacket to work. But hey, it was a rather hot...
August 2011
4 posts
Meowrderer
The only thing standing in the way of your cat eating you… is size.
Affection, companionship… forget about it! It’s a matter of logistics.
The Permanent Solution
Just glued a painting to the wall. I feel great.
The Milk & The Coffee
I’m on a train in Sweden, and I’m thirsty.
To be a kind person I asked around if people in my proximity wanted something from the bistro, since I was heading there anyway. A woman just across from me said “yes, please, a coffee.” I couldn’t quite tell her age, so let’s refer to her as Ladywomangirl. I asked Ladywomangirl if she wanted milk in her coffee. She said “No, no milk!”
I started walking...
Criminal Siamese Twin
Hmm. I’ve been thinking. Imagine two siamese twins! One of the twins commits a crime so bad that she or he is sentenced to jail? The other person is innocent, so it would be a crime to lock her or him in as well.
How is this resolved?
July 2011
3 posts
Crisis in the Horn of Africa
Times are tough in the Horn of Africa.
I urge you to donate something. Anything will do. What you payed for your last lunch will be well enough.
Drought, conflict and escalating food prices are affecting more than half a million children who are at risk of death and disease. Please donate today.
http://www.supportunicef.org/site/pp.asp?c=9fLEJSOALpE&b=7542627
You’ll feel good, and...
Helping A Friend
Helping a friend - it always backfires.
A friend was in great need of a sound effect - a potato cannon being fired.
I wanted to surprise my friend by making the sound effect myself, so I ran off to the kitchen immediately to find something that could make such a sound. Oh, a wine bottle! Excellent!
Holding the wine bottle in my hand and enjoying my soon-to-be-success, I walked back to my...
The White Shirt
Was about to go outside wearing a white shirt. Hesitated, but went for it. Got shat on by bird. :(
June 2011
5 posts
Manliness
I just got an allergic reaction from rubbing my eyes after peeling potatoes.
Steve Buscemi.
Jonas Johansson - The Contract
This is a snippet...
Google Voice Recognition
I just tried out Google’s new voice recognition in the search window. Here are the results of my first three attempts:
a large pizza recognized as on our street
kebab recognized as obama
meat and potatoes recognized as new number for girls
However, I’m not disappointed. Quite the contrary. It occurred to me that I was a rather narrow-minded searcher who was stuck in old habits....
Jogging
Was out jogging. Came home. Found fly between front teeth.
5 tags
Eggsplosion
About seven seconds after opening my first eyelid to let some light slip in… I realized I was craving amino acids. I was craving vitamin A, B, D and E. I was craving iron, calcium and omega 3. I was craving yellow and white.
I was craving you, egg. Oh, I wanted you bad.
Nearly drowning in an ocean of saliva, my eight-hour-rested legs carried me with pride towards the kitchen. (Between you...
May 2011
5 posts
Jonas Johansson - Discovering The Piano
This song...
5 tags
New Crytek Office
Everyone are unique, I know. But that just doesn’t make for a fun post. Therefore, stereotypes will be used heavily.
Today our company Crytek moved to a new, more central office in Frankfurt. The old office was located next to a ginormous chemical plant. Sometimes it exploded, but we got emails assuring everything’s under control. Just don’t leave the building for a while, and...
2 tags
The Subway Encounter
What you need to know before you read this story:
1. What the fast food chain Subway is 2. I’m a heterosexual man
Yesterday I was supposed to meet up with some friends for a couple of drinks. I left my apartment pretty late, and as I was walking to the tram I was struck by this massive hunger attack. My belly started making these sounds, so I knew it wasn’t just farts.
When the...
Biggest Fear
My biggest fear is to get stuck alone on an island, and the only way to get out of there is to ask people for help on Omegle.
April 2011
3 posts
Simpsons - 604 - Itchy & Scratchy Land
I just watched Simpsons: Season 6 Episode 4. It’s a really good classic Simpsons episode from 1994.
Wanting a perfect family vacation, the Simpson family visits Itchy & Scratchy Land. The trip starts out great, but things take a turn for the worse when a horde of Itchy and Scratchy robots go on a murderous rampage. - Wikipedia
Watch the episode here
Miscrant is a song I made some time ago. Just...